I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
