she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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