How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I have feelings that need drinking.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
