Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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