No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
