Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
