At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I just forgot I was standing up.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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