I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize