I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I think my moral compass just broke
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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