i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
