I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
