it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
