Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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