I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
