Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
