i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
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