You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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