I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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