Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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