nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
