I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
