Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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