The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
