I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
