4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
