no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
It's just like the Real World with babies
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
