listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
