Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
