Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
