We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
