wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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