Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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