So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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