well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
