It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
how does that bad decision feel?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
