you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Sex in the backyard? Check.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
