bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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