Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
It's just like the Real World with babies
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
