so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
