I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
