You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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