That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
