Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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