ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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