I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
