My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
