I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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