My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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