Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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