we were pretty classy up until the second keg
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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