Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
